I’m at peace with my lust
I can kill ’cause in god I trust

I’m a thief, I’m a liar

There’s my church, I sing in the choir

Admire me, admire my home

Admire my son, admire my clones

— “Do the Evolution,” Pearl Jam

They have swapped out white sheets and brown shirts for red hats. These unwise guys and gals act like mobsters. In reality, MAGAs are nothing more than middle-school bullies.

Did you catch the vice president and House speaker laughing and snickering when their king spoke about taking Greenland from Denmark “one way or another” during last week’s unhinged, divisive, truth-challenged rant? It used to be called the “State of the Union.” It used to be hopeful, not criminal.

A day after the Mad King spent 100 minutes yelling at clouds, the regime’s propaganda secretary shared the scam behind the tariffs placed on Canada. “He feels strongly it would be very beneficial for the Canadian people to be the 51st state … they wouldn’t be paying for these tariffs.”

Canadians would pay in many other ways, however. They would be discriminated against, deported for being brown, and blamed for the regime’s failures. They would also pay more for lousier health care coverage.

Sen. Eric Schmitt, MAGA-Mo., defended the tariffs by belching nonsensical bile, “The truth of the matter of what’s going on with Canada is they have been ripping us off for generations and they’ve gotten away with it.”

Just like adolescent bullies, MAGAs like to pick fights with those not looking for one. In the case of the Mad King and his feckless court, picking on longtime allies like Denmark and Canada gives them the illusion of being tough.

They’re not. They’re insecure and weak. They can’t take a punch (I’m still waiting for the Democrats to throw one). They are afraid of town hall meetings. They run from concerned constituents.

They pardon 1,500 insurrectionists but want U.S. Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez locked up for notifying her New York constituents about their rights under the Constitution.

MAGA terrorists love to embrace criminality and its perpetrators — not surprising since many of them have been found guilty, including their king. Peter Navarro, a White House adviser, spent four months in prison for refusing to appear before Congress to give testimony and produce documents as required by a subpoena he received from the House committee investigating the Jan. 6 attack on the Capitol.

Navarro recently claimed Canada has been “taken over by Mexican cartels.” In the meantime, the United States has been taken over by the American Taliban and Russian spies. The Republic of Gilead has emerged.

Last Sunday, MAGA mouthpiece Kevin Hassett, KGB-style, claimed Canadian authorities are covering up major fentanyl operations.

“I can tell you that in the situation room I’ve seen photographs of fentanyl labs in Canada that the law enforcement folks were leaving alone,” he told ABC News. “Canada’s got a big drug problem.”

Thankfully, America doesn’t have a big drug problem, but it does make one wonder why druggie Canadians are allegedly shipping so much of their product into the United States.

Since September, 7,793 pounds of fentanyl have been seized in the United States. Almost all (98%) was intercepted at the border with Mexico. Less than 1% was seized at the border with Canada.

It’s also extremely possible there are fentanyl labs here, and this Made-in-the-USA product finds its way across the Mexican and Canadian borders, like U.S.-made guns.

Also, where does ketamine come from?

The regime has dropped or halted more than one out of five prominent investigations into and enforcement actions against corporations in just its first six weeks in office, according to a recent Public Citizen report.

“Trump is handing out ‘get out of jail free’ cards to corporate lawbreakers,” Rick Claypool, a research director for Public Citizen and author of the report, said. “The consequences for the public when corporations face a diminished threat of enforcement are disastrous. Meanwhile, honest businesses that are not Trump administration insiders — or that refuse to play along with the ultra-MAGA ideological agenda — may face serious disadvantages from Trump’s politicized approach to enforcement.”

The report noted the regime has already halted or moved to dismiss enforcement investigations and cases against 89 corporations, including at least 15 cases brought by the Civil Rights and Environment and Natural Resource divisions at the Department of Justice, at least seven cases at the Securities and Exchange Commission against cryptocurrency corporations, and at least six Equal Employment Opportunity Commission cases defending transgender employees from workplace abuse and discrimination.

About three dozen corporations facing enforcement actions collectively contributed more than $34 million to the Mad King’s slush fund, err, inauguration. These corporations are facing a total of 60 separate federal investigations and lawsuits, according to Public Citizen. The corporations facing the greatest number of investigations and cases are Tesla (eight), Amazon (seven), Pfizer (five), Wells Fargo (four), SpaceX (four), and UnitedHealthcare (four).

“Donald Trump, Pam Bondi, and Kash Patel bloviate about how tough they are on crime, but the reality is the Trump administration by its actions is inviting a corporate crime spree,” Robert Weissman, co-president of Public Citizen, said. “Not only does the wholesale abandonment of cases against alleged corporate wrongdoers let bad actors off the hook, it invites — and virtually guarantees — a surge in consumer rip-offs, endangerment of workers, poisoning of the air and water, discriminatory employment practices.”

The Mad King is turning the FBI, the IRS, and other powerful parts of the federal government into witch hunters, to track down his political enemies and those the racist/misogynist doesn’t like. The serial liar told his favorite TV network as much last Sunday:

“We have a lot of law firms that we’re going to be going after, because they were very dishonest people. They were very, very dishonest. We have a lot of law firms that we’re going after.”

The Mad King has fired more than a dozen government inspectors general. He is trying to purge the Department of Justice of any attorneys and officials who worked on the Jan. 6 investigation or helped to prosecute the Jan. 6 rioters.

Several hours before last week’s nationally televised diarrhea from an addled mind, the Mad King tells a federal court states should essentially be allowed to threaten doctors with prison if they provide an abortion to a dying patient.

The regime’s Department of Justice has effectively informed immigration judges that they can no longer rely on rules that protect against arbitrary firing. This tyrannical move lays the groundwork for removing judges if they rule in a manner that upsets the Mad King.

The Mad King campaigned on getting tough on Canada and Mexico, because both countries “have allowed fentanyl to come into our country at levels never seen before, killing hundreds of thousands of our citizens and many very young, beautiful people, destroying families. Nobody’s ever seen anything like it.”

Yet, on his first full day back in office, the Mad King pardoned Ross Ulbricht, who was sentenced to life in prison in 2015 for running an underground online marketplace (Silk Road) where drug dealers and other criminals conducted more than $200 million in illicit trade using bitcoin.

The Mad King let Ulbricht out of prison because the “scum that worked to convict him were some of the same lunatics who were involved in the modern day weaponization of government against me.”

According to U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement, the narcotics distributed on Silk Road were linked to at least six overdose deaths across the world, including a 16-year-old Californian.

When the regime isn’t letting drug dealers out of prison or allowing accused rapists and human traffickers into the country, it’s forcing out government officials not willing to break the law.

Last week the Federal Emergency Management Agency’s top attorney was forced out after less than a week on the job for his unwillingness to write a memorandum providing legal cover for the agency’s impoundment of $80 million from New York City migrant shelters.

The Mad King has threatened to stop all federal funding to any school, college or university that “allows illegal protests.” The regime decides what is legal. Pro-Palestinian, Black Lives Matter, and transgender equality rallies most assuredly violate regime law.

“Agitators will be imprisoned/or permanently sent back to the country from which they came,” the Mad King wrote last week on his money-losing social media platform. “American students will be permanently expelled or, depending on on [sic] the crime, arrested. NO MASKS!”

A few days later, the regime pounced, canceling $400 million in federal grants and contracts to Columbia University because of what the Mad King alleges is the university’s repeated failure to protect students from antisemitic harassment — i.e., students advocating for Palestinian rights.

A prominent Palestinian activist who helped lead Columbia University’s student encampment movement last spring was arrested Saturday night by federal immigration authorities. The State Department revoked Mahmoud Khalil’s student visa and green card. By Sunday afternoon, his attorney didn’t know where Khalil was. His wife is eight months pregnant.

Meanwhile, Proud Boys, Oath Keepers, and other white supremacy groups can march, intimidate, and harass with impunity.

Elected Colorado MAGAs have asked the White House to withhold funding from the state until Democratic Gov. Jared Polis pardons Tina Peters, a county clerk convicted last fall of tampering with voting machines and sentenced to nine years in prison. They have also asked the DOJ to prosecute the judge who sentenced her.


The Mad King has issued an executive order to Attorney General Pam Bondi to cease enforcing the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act, which forbids U.S. companies from paying bribes abroad. By freezing the law’s enforcement, the Mad King reportedly risks reopening the door for more corruption in the domestic arms industry.

He has shut down the units in the FBI, State Department, and the Department of Homeland Security that were opposing foreign influence operations in U.S. elections.

The regime takes a blowtorch to Department of Justice staffing, after appointing unqualified toadies, and then tells the judiciary it can’t follow through with court orders because the DOJ is short-staffed.

MAGA Sen. Rick Scott of Florida can’t wait to gut Medicare, a popular and essential health care program. Last week, during something called “Rescuing the American Dream Summit” in Washington, D.C., Scott said the regime is “going to have to” cut Social Security, Medicare, and “any program you care about.”

This gutting of the social safety net was required because “Medicare is going bankrupt. Social Security is going bankrupt. You know, inflation can’t go away, interest rates can’t come down. So, my belief is that … we’re gonna have to do this.”

If Medicare is broken, it’s because of people like Scott. When he was CEO of Columbia/HCA Hospital, the facility was fined $1.7 billion for ripping off Medicare, Medicaid, and other federal programs. At the time, it was the largest health care fraud case in U.S. history.

Despite being the hospital’s chief executive officer, Scott was never held responsible. CEOs are only responsible for successes; wokeness and DEI for any and all failures.

Scott would later be elected governor of Florida and then to the U.S. Senate.

Privilege pays, and the MAGA crime spree rages on.

In fact, the regime isn’t acting like one that fears democratic accountability in 2026 or in 2028. It’s quite obvious the Mad King wants to turn the planet, to quote Sponge, into a world of human wreckage.

Note: While the Mad King is scrubbing federal government websites of any mention of climate change, there’s plenty of room on the taxpayer-funded server for butt-kissing. This webpage devoted to his March 4 “powerful, masterful speech” provides a long list of MAGA suck-ups. It is unintentionally hilarious.

Frank Carini can be reached at [email protected]. His opinions don’t reflect those of ecoRI News.